Welcome, 2011!!! I am so frickin' glad to see you! 2010 was not my favorite, not by a long shot. You, 2011, you I have high hopes and expectations for. You will bring new starts, new changes, new chances. You will bring new friends! You will carry me back to the Rockies. And you will not pull any rugs out from under me, okay? Can we shake on that? Alrighty then.
New Year's Eve was a very chill event this year. Really, it usually is. We don't go out in the crazy crowds of drunken revelers. Some years, we've spent drunkenish revelry safely at a neighbor's house while kids sledded the teensy hill at the end of the block. But mostly, we're major New Year's Eve homebodies. This year was amplified by it being Friday, and I had done quite a bit more than usual on Friday this week, and I was tired. I got some silly string and some sparklers, some orange juice to mix with my icky-tummy Fresca. We mixed some virgin mimosas, toasted with Connor, chased each other around (well, me and Connor) with the two cans of silly string, then swept up the carnage, got him in his pull-up and his puppy-footed jammies and froggy boots, and out on the deck we went with sparklers. It was about 7:30. We yelled, "Happy New Year!!!" and hooted and hollered and danced about with our sparklers (one each. It went quickly). I'm sure the neighbors suspected we couldn't tell time... but who gives a rip?
Then back inside, I retreated to my upstairs domain of Tylenol and cough syrup, Connor went to bed shortly thereafter, Jim came up at 11:59 and we counted down from 10, the end. Yay! 2010 goes into the books. 2011 is HERE! I have been so anticipating 2011. Why, you may ask? So many things are in the works for this year! And when I can say, "This year we're going to ________________" it just feels so much more imminent and real than saying "Next summer we're going to ________________". I'm going to try out a few of these, just to demonstrate...
This year, we're leaving west Michigan!
This year, my treatment will be over!
This year, we are moving to Montana!
This year, Connor will be 5!
This year, I will sew, open an Etsy shop with the MI-Ties, and begin to rely on my craftiness rather than the establishment for my income and well-being.
This year, Connor will go to kindergarten! (Holy holy holy shit!!! Already?! Finally?! Time is sooooo weird watching a kid grow.)
This year, I will learn new outdoorsy skills. Maybe kayaking? Maybe whitewater rafting? Definitely skiing once the snow falls in Montana.
See? See how much more imminent and real it sounds when you get to preface a statement with 'this year'? And I get so much hope and energy and motivation from those words: 'This Year'.
Also this year, no resolutions. Only resolve to remember some things...
I can trust the universe.
I am capable.
I am talented.
My life is more full when it is more simple.
Taking care of myself IS taking care of my family.
Accept the challenges that find their way to me with grace
BE fucking PRESENT
I will turn 45 this spring. That feels like a nice, solid, strong number-place from which to launch into the world again. A good place to go find my bliss, my grown-up bliss this time. My authentic, true, honest self. And having made that determination... I feel free, and alive, and purposeful.
Wishing all good things for all those that I love, those that I know, those that I'm going to meet on this next leg of my journey.